Feeling stuck in life? Do you feel like you should be further along your journey in life? Do you feel like your friends have all the things you want in life? Don’t you hate that feeling of wishing you had the same things as others have? Do you know negative thoughts are the major reason why people fail to achieve their full potential?
What causes negative thoughts one may ask?
Is it just a fact of life we must deal with?.
Are there any techniques you can use to manage your emotions?
As much as you were lead to believe, the fact is we are not born with negative thoughts. Babies don’t display negative emotions. Negative emotions are a by product of our childhood experiences. Our parents or someone who we look up to can have a great impact on our emotions either positive or negative.
What you need to know is that you are responsible for your own thoughts. Understand that your thoughts are the reason for where you are today. Some of you might not like to hear that but it is the truth. We’ve always been conditioned to believe that other people or some event are responsible for our current situation.
I’m here to tell you that that is not the case. Most parents helped provide for us during our childhood years until the age of 18. It is during this period they helped shaped our views, how we should behave, and we in turn through repetition picked up their habits.
However once we became adults we controlled our own destiny. Everything you did from this point is all up to you.
I for many years blamed my parents when I wasn’t happy with my life. The thing is my parents really had no control of my thoughts. I chose to let them control my thoughts. I didn’t know this at the time but it dictated my happiness, and limited my potential.
Even though I lived thousands of miles away in another city I mine as well been living in the same household. That is how much of a grip my negative thoughts from my childhood had on me.
One of the things you must do if you’re experiencing negative thoughts is to take back control. When you have negative emotions you feel uncontrolled or trapped. This gives you a feeling of helplessness. You feel like a failure and that there is nothing you can do to change your circumstances. You end up living in misery believing this is all you have to look forward to in life.
What I’m about to share with you will change your life forever if you decide to use it. I want to help you succeed in anything you want in life. To do this, starting today you must change the quality of thoughts in your head. The better quality your thoughts are the better your life will be. You will also experience the weight being lifted off your shoulders giving you peace of mind.
Regain Control Of Your Life! Stop Making Excuses!
The problem with most people is they make excuses to not make the necessary changes in their life. Instead they use self-limiting affirmations such as I’m too old, I’m too young, I don’t have enough money or I don’t have enough education.
You need to stop making excuses for avoiding change and accept responsibility for yourself. It is proven that successful people who excel in life accept credit and blame for the choices they make in life.
While people who fail to live up to expectations take credit for their successes but blame others for their misfortune. Such things as the poor economy, bad luck, and other people.
Negative emotions have no value and serve no purpose in your life. It will hamper all your efforts to prosper, be successful, and happy. We all want peace of mind don’t we? Then why not make a change starting today?
To achieve this you must begin the process of removing negative emotions from your life. We cannot have peace of mind coinciding with negative thinking. It just will not work.
How Eliminating Negative Emotions Changed My Fortunes
In my experience, it took close to 15 years to realize negative emotions were severely impacting my progress in life. Originally, I believed negative emotions were just a part of life. Something we lived with.
Having to admit that negative thoughts were killing me seemed embarrassing. I perceived it as a sign of weakness.
When I first moved out on my own to a new city I was virtually penniless. I had recently graduated from university employed as an entry level accounting clerk living in a small basement suite. I had a dream one day of being successful owning my own business and living in a nice house.
Many years later when I reached these milestones I found myself still unhappy and unable to enjoy my success. This experience alerted me that something wasn’t right.
Will Smith once said the worst thing about money is you think it will solve your problems but when you get it and your realize it didn’t change anything you become disappointed.
Now I wasn’t high rolling it but coming from a place where I had nothing this new found success made me feel like a king!
So what was my problem you ask?
Why was I not able to enjoy success and my achievements?
I started to do some research and noticed I still harbored a deep resentment towards my parents. I wasn’t happy growing up in their household. It was a negative environment, and their way of parenting was to be critical, use physical punishment and guilt as methods of control. These methods were believed to help a child be less spoiled and stay out of trouble. Tough love sort of speak.
This old school way of parenting was passed down from their parents and probably many generations before their parents. From speaking with my Chinese friends their childhood experiences were very similar to mine in many ways. Oh by the way I didn’t have Chinese friends growing up as I lived in a predominantly caucasian town. I thought I would throw that in there just to clarify things.
I knew in order for me to move forward with my life I had to forgive my parents for everything. I also had to let go of things from the past where I felt I was done wrong by other people. My biggest problem was I was re-living the past wrongs in my mind every day. I spent more time on being angry than on being success oriented. Not a great way to maximize your potential.
Just think for a moment, if your negative thoughts consume 85% of your thoughts each day only 15% is gear towards productive thoughts. Just imagine what you can achieve if 100% of your thoughts every day were positive, all geared towards a goal of happiness, relationship building, and achieving your dreams.
What would the world look like if everyone took this approach? We would certainly be a better place wouldn’t we?
As soon as I discovered how negative thinking was dictating my quality of life and limiting my potential, I began to immediately implement changes in my life. I can honestly say it has made a HUGE difference in my life. It TURNED my life around.
I know if you follow my advice it will do the same for you as well. In fact I guarantee it!
I’m So Negative But I Don’t Know How To Deal With It?
Before I go into the causes of negative thoughts I want to share this video from Michael Singer on how to free yourself of this problem:
There are 4 causes of negative emotions. The first one is when you attempt to justify your behavior such as anger towards others. In your mind your negative behavior is okay and you aim to validate this by getting other people to agree with you. By having people agree with you it will allow you to continue being angry.
So stop justifying your negative emotions. By doing this so you will no longer fuel your anger. You will begin to feel better as you begin to realize this is causing you to have the negative emotion.
Remember your negative thoughts add no value to your life.
I used to react with anger towards individuals who used to take pleasure getting under peoples skin. Now knowing that it will only serve to put negative thoughts in my head I handle it much differently. I just blow it off and find a reason why that person reacted that way. Perhaps they had a bad day, or maybe it’s the way they were raised by their parents and they don’t realize they are doing it. Anything basically to avoid having me involved in their negative energy goes a long way in helping me stay positive and productive.
The second cause of negative emotion is taking things to personally. Instead of trying to fight with the individual in question, try stepping back, and observe the situation. Try seeing things from that person’s perspective before jumping to a conclusion.
If you noticed all great leaders have this quality. People such as Ghandi, John F Kennedy, or Martin Luther King Jr. They never get caught up in the emotion of the situation. This is the reason why they are able to effectively lead the masses during times of crisis.
The third cause is feeling disrespected by people. You may feel this way when people are rude to your or they don’t acknowledge you in a social situation. The best thing to do in this situation is not even worry about it. I would just laugh those people off because they really don’t mean anything to you anyway.
I see lots of people like this who are just full of it. They act like they are some rich multimillionaire feeding their bullshit success stories at social functions. Meanwhile they are working as a salaried employee at some company.
Now don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being a salaried employee but please don’t act as if you made it to the big leagues.
Trust me I’ve worked with some very wealthy clientele and I’m talking multimillionaires. In all my years not one of them ever bragged about their success. If anything they kept a low profile. Best of all if you asked them to give you advice on how they made it they were always willing to share their experience.
These people are the real deal and I have a great deal of respect for them. If you can get them to mentor you than by all means take them up on their offer.
So the next time you feel slighted by someone or if they get on your nerves don’t acknowledge it. You will feel better and you will not experience negative emotions anymore. Most all you would probably be surprised how little that person thinks about you on a daily basis or even at all. So why waste your energy thinking about them. My favorite saying is it’s too much effort to waste my brain cell on such an individual.
The forth cause of negative emotions and is probably the biggest cause is blaming someone for your problems. If you are not happy with your life it is your fault. No one owns your thoughts, only you do.
So my question to you is what are you going to do about it today?
Are you going to continue on the same path expecting a different result?
Or are you going to start implementing positive changes today? When you stop blaming others for your lack of success or unhappiness you will begin to erase your negative emotions.
My favorite technique for overcoming a negative emotion is to say, “Cancel” and follow it with a statement, “I am responsible for my thoughts.”
This achieves two things. First, it gets rid of my negative thought. Secondly, it helps reminds me that I am in control of my happiness. It reaffirms that no one can take it away from me.
I hope you enjoyed todays post as much as I enjoyed writing it!
If you have any questions or if you found my article helpful please leave a comment below. Feel free to Tweet, Like or Share as well!
Have a great day and I will talk to you next time!