Do you wonder why most of the wealth in the world is only held only be a few? Why do successful people seem to have it all while others struggle to get by every day? Some are lucky to inherit wealth. However, most earned it through hard work by starting their own businesses. They climb the ladder by taking calculated risks. Most people don’t want to get out of their comfort zone. Instead they opt to take a more conservative route. Playing it safe so they don’t end up failing. However, by not going for it they don’t get anywhere either. Learning how to overcome fear from failure is a characteristic one must possess if they want to achieve the highest level of success in business, relationships, happiness or athletics.
One of the greatest teachers I’ve ever had in life was failure. I have failed in many things in life. School,business, happiness, and relationships you name it. In fact, I’ve been disappointed so many times in life that I thought I was destined for failure for the rest of my life. So much so that I felt like crawling into a hole just to play safe. I wouldn’t have to face being a failure. I can than look like I am happy and successful.
That is what I exactly did many years ago. I ended up getting a government job. Yes, a safe, secure government job with a pension, 9 to 5 hours Mondays to Fridays, 6 weeks of vacation after x amount of years, and full health benefits.
Most people would have been happy with this “cushy” lifestyle. There was very little stress and it gave me lots of free time to enjoy life. For a couple of years I felt like maybe this is it. I will be a regular Joe collecting a regular paycheque. Dreaming of my gold government pension upon retirement.
Nothing wrong with working for the government. I think it’s a nice job if you don’t want surprises in your life. However, somewhere within that 2 year period I felt my soul starting to rot at the core. I was bored and the internal job postings did not appeal to me at all. I had no desire to be a director of a department or a VP. I wanted to run my own show. Not 10 years from now but now at this present time. So I left to start my own company without hesitation or reservation.
Up until that point I had started a couple of side businesses which had little success. However, for some reason my gut told me this was the right direction for me. The health and fitness field was calling me and it was the right time to go for it. It took off like a rocket ship from day one. My accountant told me she had never seen anyone go to profitability in year one like I did. Normally she said it takes at least 5 years.
What most don’t know that before this happened to me I struggled for over 10 years to make enough to support myself in the most expensive city in Canada. Those years almost broke my spirit to take further risks. The fear of failure loomed larger the older I got. I knew if I didn’t go for it one more time at the age of 35 I would have never have gone for it again. Definitely not if I decided to have kids or get married.
Now 10 years later, I can honestly tell you it really doesn’t matter what happens from here on. If I were to lose everything tomorrow I know I can start back up again because I have done it once. When you become successful once you can always do it again because you have been there already. I’ve experience this with my father who lost everything when I was a child. He had failed in many things but he never gave up. His determination and drive turned his company into a success story many years later.
So if you are sitting on the fence thinking about doing something beyond your comfort zone just do it! If you want to ask that special person you had your eye on for months than go ask them out. What are you worried about? All they can say is no. If you don’t go for something you want you will always settle for second best.
Getting out of your comfort zone brings great things into your life. Don’t look at no or not succeeding as failure but as a learning experience to help your grow on a personal level.
I look at each failure as a opportunity. An opportunity to bring me one step closer to my ideal partner, more money, more happiness, more victories and better health. As I say to my students it’s never a bad day. Always a learning day.
Ways To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure
1. Getting over rejection – no one likes to be told no. If you do than I would probably guess you have a couple of screws loose upstairs. We all want to be accepted and loved. It’s human nature after all. Who is proud to walk around and brag they are proud to be a loser.
I remember as a child not being accepted by a group of girls due to my race while the rest of my Caucasian friends were accepted. I can’t tell you how much that hurt me deeply. Even to this day as an adult it still resonates with me when I think about it. It is this reason why I go out of my way to make sure everyone is included in social activities regardless of race, intelligence, or economic status. I never want anyone to ever feel that they don’t measure up.
My advice is to view the word “No” not as a bad ugly word. Don’t let it get you down or make you feel inferior. Instead look at it as it bringing you closer to your goal of getting a yes. For example, if a girl or guy you desire turns you down for a date. Look at it as okay, next because if you don’t ask you would never know. The more girls or guys you ask out, the more successes you will get. If you sit in the corner out of fear of rejection you will get the same results. Nothing!
Now don’t take this as I’m giving you advice to go into stalker mode. That in itself will get you in deep trouble with the law. Plus who wants to be known as the creepy guy circling the neighbourhood in the white abductor van, or the crazy cat lady.
So it doesn’t matter if you are in sales or dating. Learn to use “No” as incremental steps to you getting a big “Yes.” The more you go about it in this manner the more success you will have. Trust me it works.
2. Learn from you rejections – whenever I fail to secure a business transaction I ask for a reason. I like to know because it helps me understand what I could be doing better. Doing so allows me to work on my weaknesses. This is no different to when I compete in jiu jitsu tournaments. I film everyone of my fights and when I lose rather than sulk I look at the video as soon as I get back to the hotel room. I would make notes on all the mistakes I make and on Monday morning as soon as I get back into the gym I work to plug the holes.
Most people don’t do this. Instead, they hang their heads and think of all things wrong with them. Some may even crawl into a shell and no longer try. By doing this they feel safe and not have to bare the pain of rejection. This is a time waster. Dwelling on past events and being overly self-critical will not get you the result you desire. So forget about it. Move on and think of things you can do better to increase your chances next time. Learn, improve, tweak, rinse and repeat!
3. Always look for solutions – successful people are problem solvers. Unsuccessful people bitch about their problems. They complain, get angry, and do nothing to resolve them.
Look at failure as a temporary obstacle. Always look for a solution. On your path to success you will encounter many obstacles. Be flexible and improvise should you run into a problem but never veer off your path to the top.
Well it’s getting late and I have to train some clients tomorrow. I hope you all have a great night of rest. Remember to wake up to positive thoughts. The more positive you are the more good stuff will be rewarded to you by the universe.
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